Zeo's Thoughts and Wanderings

Last night, I dreamt I had to go back to work at Staples, back in the environment I hated, until Office Max got back to me about a job.

Today, I got the call from Office Max. I'm hired. I go in tomorrow to fill out paperwork.

We need for me to go back to work. We need the second income. I'll be making $8.50 an hour, and though I'll be classified part-time, I could be working 40+ hours, which would make me the primary income-earner here (unless car sales pick up--he gets a $250 draw check 4 times a month. 40 hours at $8.50 would be gross $340 weekly). We'll have some financial leeway, be able to go to a second-run movie without breaking the bank (without popcorn or pop).

I know I need to do this, but I don't _want_ to do this. I am seriously depressed and about ready to cry because I'm going back to copy center work. Even the knowledge that it's at the largest Office Max in NC, that it's a hub store and I'm being hired primarily for the large scanning job they have now, I don't want to do it. It means having to meet new people again, and eventually having to do sales again. I hate sales. I really, _really_ don't want to do it. I just want to be left alone.

We've been barely scraping by on Matt's income. He makes about $1000 a month (base; if sales are good, he gets commission); our rent is $1005. Plus we have water, electric, phone and cable to pay, credit cards to pay down, my monthly prescription, my school loans that I haven't been able to even begin paying....

I feel awful about going back to work, and I feel awful that I feel awful. It's been nine months since I've had a job, and I've really liked not working. I don't want to go back into a stressful, painful, hateful environment. But Matt wants to go back to school, and he wants to get a different job. He wants to start at TechSkills by the end of the year. He can get a loan for that. They require you to spend 15-25 hours a week on campus. He can't do that at the dealership, working 50-odd hours a week.

The school program he's looking at is a year long. So I can maybe tell myself, "I just have to do this job for 14 months...once Matt graduates, he can get a GOOD job and I can stop working again." I don't plan to be working at Office Max when I'm thirty. I turn 28 this month.

Why couldn't I have been hired at the lingerie store back over the summer?

I had a job interview yesterday.  I should be getting a callback today or tomorrow.  I think I'm sort of hired, but the thing is, the current owner of the business is selling the business, and he has to check with the potential buyer about whether or not she's still buying it.

But, if it goes through, and the hours stay the same, I'll have a nice little job that will get me out of the house a few hours a day, a few hours a week, and give me some spending money of my own.

Training will be learning the register and learning the lines carried. 

Did I mention the job is working at a small lingerie shop?

Well, spent my first day at work watching 2 videos, filling out the requisite paperwork (now a touch harder being married and all), and lacing shoes. Yes, lacing shoes. Apparently, they pre-lace the shoes to make it easier for men to try them on. Plus, seeing as we're supposed to have them try on shoes while trying on suits (so to get the right hem measurement), it makes it easier on us. So does pulling all the paper out from the boxes. No mess.

So men, when you buy shoes from S&K, you're getting pre-laced, de-papered shoes.

And according to the scale, I've lost 5 lbs. Now to hide the scale and not weigh myself again til the end of the month. :)

I just want to thank everyone who helped out the last two months while Matt and I were out of work. He's working at University Ford in Chapel Hill now (go buy cars!), so hopefully we should be getting back on our own feet.

First day of diet went well. Didn't feel overly hungry too often, and the constant peeing from all the water I'm drinking wasn't too annoying. I have to go to the grocery store today, buy more "real" vegetables (all we have in the house is "starch" vegetables), fruit, and some meat (most likely a bag of frozen chicken breasts).

Since it's raining and yucky out, I doubt the wireless guys will be here today. So it's back to the waiting game. I'll go for a walk with Cyn and her dog Candy, and that'll be two miles or so.

Maybe I'll do some sewing today. I need to draft out a pattern for someone, see if I can get what's in my head to translate onto the page.

Plus I saved most of the meat drippings from last night's beef, so I can go de-fat that, and make a nice gravy for dinner tonight. I'm thinking beef with noodles and gravy. Hey, I'm allowed 4 fat servings a day, and that gravy's going to be one of them!

Now, to have oatmeal....

Some update on the situations here. Our friends Jay and Cyn just found out last week that Cyn is pregnant. They've been trying for a year. They've also had a cat into the vet twice for urinary tract blockage, and a bird in recently. They also have our friends Ashley and Ryan staying with them, with Ash and Ryan's two small children (2 y.o. and 9 m.o.). Yesterday around 9:30 am, Jay took Cyn to the hospital because she was bleeding. They didn't get home til after midnight. We still haven't heard what the problem was, if she's okay, etc. She's been stressing ever since Ash, Ryan and kids got there. So, today Ash, Ryan and kids are moving in with us until the 7th, when their apartment is ready. Just to reduce stress all around.

And, to top things off, my husband is sick. Severe throat infection spreading to his ears. He went to the clinic yesterday (another $100 we don't have), got some antibiotics. At least it isn't strep.

Still no word on the job front. I need to call Depot again today, see what's going on with the background check.