sailorzeo: (midriff)

I was 12 or 13 when I bought my first pack of diet pills.

Let me repeat.  I was 12 or 13 when I bought my first pack of diet pills.  I was in junior high.  I’d been hit with so much advertising telling me “thin is in” and it’s wrong to be hungry that I took money I’d saved, either allowance or paper route money, went to the nearby store, and bought a pack of AcuTrim Late Day.  “I snack after 3 p.m.,” the lady in the commercial said.  So did I; that was when I got home from school, and there were still three hours until dinner, so I snacked.  But the commercial said it was wrong, so I set out to get the pill the commercial said would help.

I was terrified.  I thought for sure the cashier would look at me, see my age, and refuse to sell me the pills.  I thought she would call a manager, that the manager would chastise me, take the pills away, threaten to call my parents.  Nothing like that happened; I was sold the pills without incident.

I was afraid the pills would be huge.  I had trouble swallowing pills then, often gagging and throwing up when I had to take the giant antibiotics for my frequent sinus infections and bouts of bronchitis.  They weren’t; they were about the size of a four-hour Sudafed.

I hid the pills in the front pocket of my purse.  I don’t think I told anyone about them.  I don’t remember telling anyone about them.  I took them on the sly, when no one was around.  I didn’t finish that first pack, though.  I went to take them one day, and the foil card was missing.  It wasn’t in my purse anymore.  I started to panic; someone must have found them.  I was sure my mother had taken them, that I was going to be in trouble, that a lecture was coming, that I would be grounded for months and months. 

Nothing happened.  I still don’t know whether it was actually my mother that took them.  If it was my mother that took them, I don’t know why she was going through my purse.  Neither parent ever said anything to me about the pills.  No one came to me and said, “You’re too young to take these,” or “You don’t need these,” or anything else like that.  The pills just disappeared, and that was supposedly that.

I told you I was 12 or 13 when I bought my first pack of diet pills.

I didn’t tell you I wore a size small shirt and size 7 jeans when I bought my first pack of diet pills.

I didn’t tell you that going by pediatric growth charts, my doctor described me as “lean and mean” when I bought my first pack of diet pills.

No one told me I didn’t need those pills.

sailorzeo: (exercise)
I was grumping to myself this morning about my recent inability to stick to the calorie budget.  This week, I've been ravenous by dinnertime, and even snacking at work.  I did some research, as it's period week, as to whether or not that affects metabolism.

Turns out, it does.  A few days before and during menstruation, a woman's metabolism ramps up anywhere from 5% to 20%.  That would explain this week.

Then I looked at my logs.  This is my eighth week logging my food.  The first four weeks, I had no problem staying under budget, ending the week 500 to 700 calories under the weekly limit.  Then, week five, I was 1454 over budget.  Week six, 1203.  Week seven, 1811.  So far this week, I'm 1279 over. 

It's not just the incremental decrease in the calorie limit from losing weight.  It's not just a rebellious attitude.  I figured out what else happened four weeks ago.  I went back on birth control pills.

It's entirely possible that the pills are affecting my appetite and metabolism.  Many women report weight gain after starting bcps.  It takes about three months for this particular pill to "settle in" when it comes to side effects, so for the next two months, I'm going to keep logging my food and trying to weigh weekly, but not be particularly over-worried if I can't keep to the budget without hunger pains, or if I gain a pound or more back.  This actually, timing wise, works out somewhat well.  I should be past the adjustment period starting in January.  January's always a good time to get back on track.
sailorzeo: (Default)
I've managed to keep logging my food for over a month, almost a month and a half.  I'm down 14.4 pounds.  I will admit, I don't log my weight if it goes up, and it did go up 2 pounds a few weeks back, but I've since lost those, plus a few more.

Having my calorie intake allowance drop when my weight drops is a bit unsettling, though I understand the reasoning.  When I started logging, I was allowed 1841 calories a day.  Now, 14 pounds later, it's at 1749, almost 100 calories less.  Despite being over-budget almost all last week, I still lost weight.  A coworker of mine is using LoseIt now, too, for one of her classes.  She was trying to figure out why my calorie allowance is so much higher than hers (1500s).  The simple answer is, I weigh more, probably 100 pounds or more.

A while back on Suits, there was a bit where Mike (young pretending-to-be-lawyer male) and Donna (legal secretary for the older male) were getting coffee.  He was confused as to why she'd get a skim-milk latte if she was getting whipped cream on it.  She told him, "BECAUSE I got the skim milk, I CAN HAVE the whipped cream."  He still didn't understand it, though it made sense to me.  Donna is by no means overweight, but the principle remains.  If she got both full-fat milk AND whipped cream, then there are more calories.  Getting skim milk gives her a little wiggle room for the treat of the whipped cream.  It's making balance.  For instance, this morning I'm having a large-ish Red Velvet hot chocolate with whipped cream, sausage gravy, and really really dense bread (mishap with the bread maker).  Breakfast is clocking in at 1294 of my 1749 calories, leaving me 455 calories for the rest of the day.  Given that one weekend day is usually spent napping, and it wasn't yesterday, breakfast will probably also count as lunch (also because of the time we're eating: it's after 10 now), I'll have an apple (90 calories) as a snack when I get up, and a salad (290 calories) for dinner, leaving me 75 calories under budget.
sailorzeo: (Default)
I'm still using LoseIt.  I actually earned a badge on the site for logging every day for two weeks.  Plus, I'm down 10 pounds from when I started.  I haven't been keeping up the WiiFit; in fact, I think I've only used it three times.  Timing seems to be the main issue.  I'm out of the house ten to eleven hours a day, Monday through Friday.  When I get home in the evening, I make dinner (most nights), which takes another hour, then eating and cleaning up, and all I want to do is escape into a galaxy far far away for a few hours, or go through my social media links, catch up on the DVR, or collapse in bed and read for a few hours before falling asleep.  I stand a lot at work, so my legs and feet are tired when I get home.  That makes wanting to go work out, using primarily my legs, not a very attractive option.

I got new work shoes, though.  After getting and loving my Crocs sandals, I got a pair of Crocs Work shoes, the Mercy Work.  As a bonus, the Crocs outlet had a buy-one-get-one-half-off sale, so I also got another pair of the sandals.  The first pair was white with blue insoles; the new pair is navy with violet insoles.  Now I just need the black/black and the brown/brown to complete the set.  Anyway, I'm hoping the new, comfy work shoes will help my legs feel less-tired at the end of the day, so I can get a little more motivated to exercise when I get home.  Exercising in the morning is not an option; I already have a hard time getting up and out the door by seven getting up at 5:30 with my current routine.  Adding half an hour-ish of exercise plus a shower would mean getting up at 4 to get the same amount accomplished.  Plus, I hate showering before work.  I prefer to shower before bed.

Still, though, I've kept with it longer than I thought I would, and I'm actually sort of seeing results.  Another 17 pounds, and I'll be down 10% of my starting weight.  Doctors always told me that losing just 10% of the weight would mean drastic positive changes to my health.  We'll see; I think 10% increments will be good for little goals.  I like having goals and rewards--badges, stamps, gold stars, it doesn't take much, just a tangible, visible reminder of "you done good."
sailorzeo: (exercise)
So once more I board the fitness/weight loss train.  I'm going into this with no expectations other than, "I fully expect to fall off the wagon in 2 weeks time." 

I never posted about it here, but back in June, we came home from work one day to find the back door wide open and the house totally tossed.  We'd had a break-in.  They primarily stole small electronics: our cameras, the old laptop that didn't work so well, my DS, the Wii and games, some car speakers and an amp.  They also took 2 of my rings, family heirlooms.  Nothing was recovered, but we had renters' insurance.  Allstate has been nothing but good to us through everything. 

How does this relate to fitness/weight loss?  My primary exercise tool was WiiFit.  Interestingly enough, even though they stole the Wii, both remotes, both nunchucks, and the sensor, they didn't take the power cables or the Balance Board.  They also didn't take the actual WiiFit disc.  So, with the insurance and reimbursement, we replaced the Wii hardware.  I was grumpy, though, because that meant any of my previous progress with WiiFit was gone (and even more so when we lost Scamp, it meant his Mii was gone now, too).

I finally got around to remaking my Mii last night, though I couldn't find the same hair it had before.  That was fine; I switched it to a ponytail.  But I had to reset my profile on WiiFit.  Anything I'd unlocked before, I'm going to have to unlock again. 

In addition to the WiiFit, I downloaded an app to both my Kindle and my phone: LoseIt.  It's a food/exercise calorie tracking program which so far, seems easy enough to use.  I like being able to scan barcodes with my phone if the food's not in their database.  Still, I've had trouble keeping food journals in the past.  We'll see how long this lasts.  Like I said before, I'm not overly optomistic about this.  But, I did 2 rounds of Basic Step on WiiFit last night.  It's a start.

New goal

Jan. 24th, 2010 05:10 pm
sailorzeo: (exercise)
So, I had my annual doctor's visit a week or two ago. Found out my cholesterol is out of whack, so, the doctor wants me to lose 7 pounds in the next three months, and stick to a low-fat, low-carb diet. I'm not sure how "low-carb" I'll be doing, given the gluten-intolerance and no whole wheat, but I'm going to go back to the Sugar Solution book and find some good recipes. I know I want to do the quinoa with peppers and beans again, once I'm allowed peppers again.

I also set the seven-pounds-in-three-months as my WiiFit goal. I start that up again tomorrow, now that the Wii's set up again. I'm actually looking forward to getting back to Rhythm Step and Advanced Step, not to mention Rhythm Kung Fu and Rhythm Boxing. Also, the yoga and strength training will help, since I can feel myself stiffening up again.

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