Guilt and Freedom

[sailorzeo]

I quit my job today. It was only my third day there. I feel guilty, because we sort of need the paycheck, because the company was willing to work with my availability, and because even though I failed the questionnaire, I was hired anyway. I feel like I let a lot of people down.

But on the other hand, I wasn't happy there. Not just "Oh, I don't want to go to work today" not happy, but breaking down crying in the bathroom, getting sick not happy. From the moment I entered the store this morning, all I could think about was how much I didn't want to be there, how much I hated retail, how lousy I was at it, and I even admitted to the GM that I was terrified of actually going on the floor and selling. I just wanted to leave. At one point, I was thinking, "I would rather be doing food service than this." That's how bad it was.

Part of the problem is that, I was retail for four years after graduating college. I hated every minute, but copy center work was sort of close to what I was degreed in, so I could live with it. I know nothing about menswear. And you know what? I really don't want to know more about it than what I need to tell my husband he looks good. I don't want to deal with picky, difficult customers. I don't want to measure men, have my hands on their waitbands and rears to make sure their pants fit right. I don't want to "upsell." I HATE people, hate selling, and I'd much rather be a housewife.

And I think I'm going to start crying again if I keep thinking about it, so I'm going to stop, and maybe go take a nap.

Comments

[alessar.livejournal.com]

If you are stuck doing retail, try and find a store that sells something you like -- like books. Retail's always a pain but books or crafts or something like that won't be invasive like menswear would be. If you get a job in a place with your interests, it can be kinda fun.

[jetwolf.livejournal.com]

I've mentioned this several times, but when I quit my job, I knew it was the right choice for me and I never looked back in regret. Sometimes you just know what you have to do, and even if it's not the most "responsible" course of action, you have to do it. Tell the truth - didn't that lighter feeling make it all worthwhile?

There are always more jobs. They may not be what you want to do, but when push comes to shove, McDonalds is always hiring. It's just a job, it's just money. Some things simply can't be bought.