sailorzeo: (meadow face)
Last night, I dreamt I had to go back to work at Staples, back in the environment I hated, until Office Max got back to me about a job.

Today, I got the call from Office Max. I'm hired. I go in tomorrow to fill out paperwork.

We need for me to go back to work. We need the second income. I'll be making $8.50 an hour, and though I'll be classified part-time, I could be working 40+ hours, which would make me the primary income-earner here (unless car sales pick up--he gets a $250 draw check 4 times a month. 40 hours at $8.50 would be gross $340 weekly). We'll have some financial leeway, be able to go to a second-run movie without breaking the bank (without popcorn or pop).

I know I need to do this, but I don't _want_ to do this. I am seriously depressed and about ready to cry because I'm going back to copy center work. Even the knowledge that it's at the largest Office Max in NC, that it's a hub store and I'm being hired primarily for the large scanning job they have now, I don't want to do it. It means having to meet new people again, and eventually having to do sales again. I hate sales. I really, _really_ don't want to do it. I just want to be left alone.

We've been barely scraping by on Matt's income. He makes about $1000 a month (base; if sales are good, he gets commission); our rent is $1005. Plus we have water, electric, phone and cable to pay, credit cards to pay down, my monthly prescription, my school loans that I haven't been able to even begin paying....

I feel awful about going back to work, and I feel awful that I feel awful. It's been nine months since I've had a job, and I've really liked not working. I don't want to go back into a stressful, painful, hateful environment. But Matt wants to go back to school, and he wants to get a different job. He wants to start at TechSkills by the end of the year. He can get a loan for that. They require you to spend 15-25 hours a week on campus. He can't do that at the dealership, working 50-odd hours a week.

The school program he's looking at is a year long. So I can maybe tell myself, "I just have to do this job for 14 months...once Matt graduates, he can get a GOOD job and I can stop working again." I don't plan to be working at Office Max when I'm thirty. I turn 28 this month.

Why couldn't I have been hired at the lingerie store back over the summer?
sailorzeo: (Default)
Well, we're going to be a few hundred short this month, but at least we have meat, milk and eggs in the house again. No, we didn't spend over $100 on those items, but we were already short, and we NEEDED the food.

I need to find a job. But I really don't want to go back to retail. Sigh. And Chris moves out the 26th. So I NEED to get a job. I should check the local college sites, see if anyone's hiring research assistants. :-P
sailorzeo: (Default)

I had a job interview yesterday.  I should be getting a callback today or tomorrow.  I think I'm sort of hired, but the thing is, the current owner of the business is selling the business, and he has to check with the potential buyer about whether or not she's still buying it.

But, if it goes through, and the hours stay the same, I'll have a nice little job that will get me out of the house a few hours a day, a few hours a week, and give me some spending money of my own.

Training will be learning the register and learning the lines carried. 

Did I mention the job is working at a small lingerie shop?

sailorzeo: (guhh)
I quit my job today. It was only my third day there. I feel guilty, because we sort of need the paycheck, because the company was willing to work with my availability, and because even though I failed the questionnaire, I was hired anyway. I feel like I let a lot of people down.

But on the other hand, I wasn't happy there. Not just "Oh, I don't want to go to work today" not happy, but breaking down crying in the bathroom, getting sick not happy. From the moment I entered the store this morning, all I could think about was how much I didn't want to be there, how much I hated retail, how lousy I was at it, and I even admitted to the GM that I was terrified of actually going on the floor and selling. I just wanted to leave. At one point, I was thinking, "I would rather be doing food service than this." That's how bad it was.

Part of the problem is that, I was retail for four years after graduating college. I hated every minute, but copy center work was sort of close to what I was degreed in, so I could live with it. I know nothing about menswear. And you know what? I really don't want to know more about it than what I need to tell my husband he looks good. I don't want to deal with picky, difficult customers. I don't want to measure men, have my hands on their waitbands and rears to make sure their pants fit right. I don't want to "upsell." I HATE people, hate selling, and I'd much rather be a housewife.

And I think I'm going to start crying again if I keep thinking about it, so I'm going to stop, and maybe go take a nap.

New stuff

Mar. 14th, 2005 04:46 pm
sailorzeo: (Default)
Well, spent my first day at work watching 2 videos, filling out the requisite paperwork (now a touch harder being married and all), and lacing shoes. Yes, lacing shoes. Apparently, they pre-lace the shoes to make it easier for men to try them on. Plus, seeing as we're supposed to have them try on shoes while trying on suits (so to get the right hem measurement), it makes it easier on us. So does pulling all the paper out from the boxes. No mess.

So men, when you buy shoes from S&K, you're getting pre-laced, de-papered shoes.

And according to the scale, I've lost 5 lbs. Now to hide the scale and not weigh myself again til the end of the month. :)


Mar. 11th, 2005 09:50 am
sailorzeo: (Default)
I got a job yesterday. Hired on at S&K Menswear. It's a base+commission job, and at least the base is decent. I'm not sure if the commission is individual or store-wide, though. I'll find out at training Monday. Videos and paperwork, yay. :-P

First paycheck is April 1st, just as my friend's coming out to visit. So I'll have a little money to use while she's here. Always a good thing.

Now let's hope I can sell suits.
sailorzeo: (Default)
I just want to thank everyone who helped out the last two months while Matt and I were out of work. He's working at University Ford in Chapel Hill now (go buy cars!), so hopefully we should be getting back on our own feet.

First day of diet went well. Didn't feel overly hungry too often, and the constant peeing from all the water I'm drinking wasn't too annoying. I have to go to the grocery store today, buy more "real" vegetables (all we have in the house is "starch" vegetables), fruit, and some meat (most likely a bag of frozen chicken breasts).

Since it's raining and yucky out, I doubt the wireless guys will be here today. So it's back to the waiting game. I'll go for a walk with Cyn and her dog Candy, and that'll be two miles or so.

Maybe I'll do some sewing today. I need to draft out a pattern for someone, see if I can get what's in my head to translate onto the page.

Plus I saved most of the meat drippings from last night's beef, so I can go de-fat that, and make a nice gravy for dinner tonight. I'm thinking beef with noodles and gravy. Hey, I'm allowed 4 fat servings a day, and that gravy's going to be one of them!

Now, to have oatmeal....


Mar. 5th, 2005 08:21 am
sailorzeo: (Default)
Okay, so after my one promising night, I haven't written anymore. Bleargh.

And I'm now sort-of a housewife. IE, husband is working, I'm not. Which means he expects me to be trying to keep the house neat. I've tried explaining to him that such things do not come naturally to me. It doesn't occur to me to clean. I've had dishes sit waiting to be washed so long that they've formed their own ecosystems. But I'm married now. And husband isn't as fond of disorganization and clutter as I am. So I have to try to remember to clean, to put things away, to do something other than play on the computer all day, and while working out is a good thing, I can't use that as an excuse for why I didn't clean.

I hate cleaning. Clean houses make me nervous. I NEED clutter to feel like I belong there.

Plus since he's working on Saturdays now, I have to go to book study by myself. I'm so tempted to skip it. I don't want to go by myself. It might be easier to slip out unnoticed, though. I don't like talking to people. Eh, I have to go out anyway to get milk and eggs. (sigh)


Feb. 1st, 2005 09:28 am
sailorzeo: (Default)
Some update on the situations here. Our friends Jay and Cyn just found out last week that Cyn is pregnant. They've been trying for a year. They've also had a cat into the vet twice for urinary tract blockage, and a bird in recently. They also have our friends Ashley and Ryan staying with them, with Ash and Ryan's two small children (2 y.o. and 9 m.o.). Yesterday around 9:30 am, Jay took Cyn to the hospital because she was bleeding. They didn't get home til after midnight. We still haven't heard what the problem was, if she's okay, etc. She's been stressing ever since Ash, Ryan and kids got there. So, today Ash, Ryan and kids are moving in with us until the 7th, when their apartment is ready. Just to reduce stress all around.

And, to top things off, my husband is sick. Severe throat infection spreading to his ears. He went to the clinic yesterday (another $100 we don't have), got some antibiotics. At least it isn't strep.

Still no word on the job front. I need to call Depot again today, see what's going on with the background check.
sailorzeo: (Default)
I have an interview Tuesday. Still retail, still office supplies/copy center, but a different company. Plus, one of the stores down here from my previous company is waiting on a c.c. lead, and if she falls through, they'll give me a call. So, keeping fingers crossed.

I seriously need to do some work on the bedroom. When our roommate cleaned the living room, all the boxes went in my husband and my bedroom and the spare room. So now it's incredibly difficult to get to the bed. And it's a waterbed, so I can't walk across the bed to get to the other side. Makes it real difficult for anyone sleeping on the far side to get up in the middle of the night (bathroom, let cat out, let cat in, let cat out, let cat in, let cat out, etc).

Star Trek 3 is on, hubby and roomie are watching. I'm still happy-happy that I got some of my simmies to do what I wanted...and one set I didn't even use hacks on! But now there are 2 adults and 6 teenage boys in that teeny-tiny house. Need to get some of those kids grown up, moved out, and married. At least two of the boys have crushes. One's going steady. So, that could work.

I am way too into that game. I haven't touched Galaxies since I installed Sims 2.

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